Friday, 30 September 2011

The Case of Mrs. Weldon – Why am I still awake?

Seriously, I should be in bed by this point in the night, it now being 3:15am, but what was I doing instead? I was sneaking up to the side of a house that belonged to a man who had hired me to spy on his wife, who had me locked in a wardrobe for three days, to rescue a seriously annoying cop who had me arrested for trespassing when I managed to break out of the wardrobe and escape!

There is a little voice that is asking me what the hell I think I am doing going to help Fred instead of going home and climbing into my very warm and comfortable bed and, in all fairness to the little voice, I don't have any convincing arguments as to what on earth was possessing me to do this. Other than the obvious gloating rights that come from rescuing a boy in blue from a situation when he has gotten in way over his head...come to think of it, there aren't many things I wouldn't do in order to get some gloating rights over Fred.

For some reason it seemed necessary to have my guns drawn as I approached the house – nothing like being knocked out and incarcerated to put a girl on her guard – fortunately, this time, nobody seemed to be aware that I was even within fifty miles of the place (I wished I was more than fifty miles away from Henry A. Weldon and his horrific wife).

Rescuing people often goes much smoother when you have a plan as how you are going to accomplish such said actions. Sadly I hadn't really thought far enough ahead to actually plan and instead had fallen back on my usual course of action – improvisation! Hasn't really let me down before, except for that time on the bridge and the time when I had to tunnel out of the police station basement and the time that I nearly drowned after falling off the dock and knocking myself out on an anchor chain and the...but there are always exceptions, right?

Breaking windows does seem to attract a lot of attention too. Not entirely sure why that is, but then again if you are going to go on a semi-suicidal rescue mission into the home of someone who is desperately trying to rank amongst the top ten on your enemies list, you want to make your entrance count.

Stained-glass windows depicting saints really aren't that expensive to repair and replace anyway...granted using a length of rope over a tree branch to swing through it possibly was a little bit like overkill, but it looked cool...shame no one was actually there to watch it. Just plenty of people thundering through the house moments after the sound of breaking glass to see the resulting devastation and plenty of people to then draw guns on you and chase you through the myriad of corridors as you try to locate the locked doors behind which a certain police constable is being detained.

It's really amazing how poor some people's aim is when they are running and trying to shoot you.

Whoever designed the Weldon house definitely had a fetish for doors. Eventually, after managing to only sustain two or three or fifteen bullet grazes from an awful lot of terrible shots and several dozen empty clips, I did manage to find the right doors, kicked them in and found myself face to face with Fred.

Fred, who then tells me that he is going to arrest me for breaking and entering! Can you believe it? I go to rescue him and he threatens to arrest me!

Bloody typical.

Getting back to the beautiful pile of shards my new entrance into the manor had created was seemingly a little difficult given the number of people between me and it that were armed with some rather nasty but tasty weaponry. Not that they could hit the broadside of a barn with it, but it was still not an idea that I relished. Instead I created yet another door! This time through a window that was definitely an awful lot less to repair than the stained-glass masterpiece I had reduced to ruin and rubble.

Mrs Weldon did not look pleased to see me and instead of offering me a drink and sitting down like adults to discuss our present situation, the bitch started throwing her Wedgwood porcelain figures at me and Fred in a rather aggressive way. This meant Fred accompanying me through the broken window instead of staying behind to be given a severe concussion by Japanese-esque dogs and running like hell on the other side of the glass to escape the range of the guns as well as the reach of Mrs. Weldon's arm.

Friday, 23 September 2011

The Case of Mrs. Weldon – Day 13

There aren't many reasons in the world to stay up past 3am. Insomnia and insane drinking binges seem to be the only reasons I have stayed out of bed for before. This is of course excluding my current activities.

My watch told me it was 03:05 and I was sat outside of Henry A. Weldon's house watching the movements of the inhabitants. The aforementioned owner of said property was missing, absent, if you will.

Mrs. Weldon was, however, as active as ever.

In a room downstairs was a very familiar figure. Yes, the illustrious and infuriating Fred Barlow was sat in full uniform in what appeared to be the living room. I wasn't all to surprised that he had seemingly succumbed to the charms of the insatiable lady of the house.

I wasn't here in an official capacity. Naturally, having escaped being looked in a wardrobe I assumed that my employment was now terminated. But I wanted answers as to what was going on. Normally I wouldn't have cared – no money = no interest for me. Locking me in a wardrobe, get me arrested for trespassing and generally trying to make me look foolish really gets my back up. I was in the mood for a little payback, not that I have a desperate thirst for revenge that needs to be slaked or anything...

Mrs Weldon was upstairs, moving around in a room with three other men. At this moment in time they were all fully clothed and seemed to be arguing about something – if I could lip read I would have known what that something was, however I had never bothered to learn, bugging people's homes, offices and other locations generally negates the need to. Fred was sat downstairs looking very bored and like he wanted to leave already. I watched him walk round the room three times, try the door (to find it locked) and then sit down with his head in hands.

Apparently not so much succumbed to the charms. However did mean that I needed to get a closer look – hopefully I can avoid incarceration this time...